It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
