areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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