If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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