I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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