just come out here and I will go home with you...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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