It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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