I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
