those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
