I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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