I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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