My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
