come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
