Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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