She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
