Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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