i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
