Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
