what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Randomize
