what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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