Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
