There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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