white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
