So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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