Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I accidentally had phone sex last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
