he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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