Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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