is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i would punch a child for taco bell
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
