my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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