its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
