you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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