Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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