party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
