OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
