The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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