I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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