I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
