Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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