My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
