I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
