His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
