I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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