If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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