i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
