Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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