My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
