But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
