So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
