Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
