Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
soo... how was my night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
