I hate your face
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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