I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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