If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
there is puke in my bra ... again
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