I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
