yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
