Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
