peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
