Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
