Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
