Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
