It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I deserve this hangover.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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