yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
