i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
